(Or just insane. Whichever.)
Thursday, December 4
1. Oakland Raiders @ San Diego Chargers
Chargers have looked absolutely lifeless the past few weeks, and the offense has been pathetic. Complain (justly) all you want about the offensive line: I watched LT get run down by Falcons' defensive linemen TWICE on pitches to the outside; no way he's the same back/as explosive as prior years.
Sunday, December 7
2. Jacksonville Jaguars @ Chicago Bears
Never thought I'd see a Jack Del Rio team go 1-5 over six games, including three straight losses by double-digits. But hey, Fred Taylor will likely surpass O.J. Simpson and Corey Dillon on the NFL's all time rushing yardage list. PS: I've been saying all year that David Garrard is nothing more than an average QB.
3. Cleveland Browns @ Tennessee Titans
Let's see... Brady Quinn is out with a broken finger, Derek Anderson is out with a torn MCL, so who's the Browns' third-string QB? Ken Dorsey? He's still alive? Okay, so what are Ken Dorsey's stats like? 0 for 4 for 0 yards, 1 INT and 1 sack... and that's cumulative for the past THREE YEARS. And he gets his first start since 2005 on the road against an 11-1 team with a killer defense? And you thought the Titans/Lions game was ugly?
4. Minnesota Vikings @ Detroit Lions
*I* could take 20 carries for 100 yards and a TD against the Lions. What do you think Adrian Peterson is going to do? And how many times do you think Jared Allen is going to pummel Detroit's flavor-of-the-moment at QB?
5. Cincinnati Bengals @ Indianapolis Colts
If the Bengals played the Lions this week, I'd pick the Lions. Bengals have the worst offense in the NFL (even worse than the Raiders and Rams, now), have only scored 20+ three times all season, are 0-6 on the road with an average margin of defeat of 13 points, etc.
6. Atlanta Falcons @ New Orleans Saints
Drew Brees: 17 TD, 4 INT at "Home" (including London); 7 TD, 10 INT on the road. Just a hunch: the Falcons have WAY over-achieved this season, and have a couple gimme wins from the pathetic AFC Worst. Plus, you know, NFC South team at home. More on that later.
7. Philadelphia Eagles @ New York Giants
I know they're divisional rivals and all, but considering the Giants ran up 219 yards rushing on them and held the ball for 39:10 the last time they met... and this was BEFORE the Giants found their groove...
8. Houston Texans @ Green Bay Packers
Psst: Steve Slaton will have a 1,000-yard rushing season and Packers can't tackle. The Texans haven't been good on the road so far this season... but is there another team that performs better when the games don't matter? Don't we see a late-season surge from the Texans almost every year?
9. Miami Dolphins @ Buffalo Bills
Bills are banged up and sliding, Dolphins have something to prove. Game will be indoors in Toronto, so Bills won't even have lake-effect snow to save them. At least they'll get a nice look at their new home (the Bills will be in Toronto permanently within five years: bigger market; tradition means nothing to the plutocrats of the NFL).
10. New England Patriots @ Seattle Seahawks
Poor Mike Holmgren deserved a better send off than this. Seahawks defensive coordinator John Marshall has appeared completely inept at crafting schemes this season.
11. Kansas City Chiefs @ Denver Broncos
The Broncos haven't won a game in Denver in two months. Wait, seriously? This is the right opponent, then: the last time the Chiefs had a victory in the state of Colorado people were wondering whether George W. Bush or Al Gore would be the next President.
12. New York Jets @ San Francisco 49ers
Last four games, Jets defense has allowed 200 yds (Rams), 511 yds (Pats), 281 yds (Titans), and 484 yds (Broncos). If you can get a grasp on this team, let me know. This inconsistency is one of the reasons I'm going with the Niners as my upset of the week. Okay, one of them.
13. St. Louis Rams @ Arizona Cardinals
If Kurt Warner is truly an MVP candidate, he needs to stop gagging like an amateur porn-star every time he faces a good team.
14. Dallas Cowboys @ Pittsburgh Steelers
I still say Dallas isn't nearly as good as many in the media think they are. The Cowboys' wins have come against teams with a combined record of 38-56-2, or roughly an average of 5-7.
15. Washington Redskins @ Baltimore Ravens
You want consistency? Redskins have not given up more than 24 points this season, yet haven't held a single team to single digits (16, 24, 17, 24, 17, 19, 11, 17, 23, 14, 17, 23). Ravens have won six of their last seven, with the loss being on the road to the Giants. And in all six wins they scored more than 24 points.
Monday, December 8
16. Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Carolina Panthers
The four teams in the NFC South are 22-2 at home. Amazing. Panthers will be out for revenge after an October beat-down at the hands of their division rivals. More motivation for Carolina: the Bucs have a pretty easy remaining schedule, so if they win here they'll essentially clinch the division.
Bonus Question 1: What will be the Point Spread of Game #15 (Washington Redskins vs Baltimore Ravens)? 14
Bonus Question 2: What will be the Final Total Points of Game #16 (Tampa Bay Buccaneers vs Carolina Panthers)? 40
