Funny quotes

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Squirtle
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Funny quotes

Post by Squirtle » Sat May 10, 2008 7:56 pm

Anybody have any funny quotes/morales/philosophies they would like to share?

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Wildabeast
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Post by Wildabeast » Sat May 10, 2008 8:10 pm

Ever stop to think, then forget to start again?
-Stop global whining.

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senza cervello
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Post by senza cervello » Sat May 10, 2008 8:20 pm

I was sitting in the park one day, wondering why frisbees get bigger as they get closer. And then, it hit me.
The o_O emoticon gives me the heebee jeebees.

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Hostrauser
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Post by Hostrauser » Sat May 10, 2008 9:03 pm

"I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong. " - Bertrand Russell

"It is silly to like The Cure! No, Really! They are really silly people! Stop listening to them!" - Ray Smuckles

"They say married men live longer? Ho ho! It just seems longer." - Bobby Slayton

"Hope is the only bee that makes honey without flowers." - Robert Green Ingersoll

"It isn't necessary to imagine the world ending in fire or ice – there are two other possibilities: one is paperwork, and the other is nostalgia." - Frank Zappa

"If you wind up with a boring, miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest or some guy on TV telling you how to do your [stuff], then YOU DESERVE IT." - Frank Zappa

"The first thing you have to do if you want to raise nice kids, is you have to talk to them like they are people instead of talking to them like they're property." - Frank Zappa

"I just can't get going in the morning until I've had that first, piping hot pot of coffee... oh sure, I've tried other enemas..." - Emo Philips

tSz42

Post by tSz42 » Sat May 10, 2008 10:22 pm

www.bash.org
-Warning, may contain offensive langauge

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The Aceman
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Post by The Aceman » Sun May 11, 2008 7:10 am

"Some people say winning isn't everything, I say those people never won anything" -Unknown

"Not everyone understands House music; it's a spiritual thing; a body thing; a soul thing." -Eddie Amador

"Rock is dead. Long live Paper and Scissors." -Zedhed
Go read "Ishmael" a novel by Daniel Quinn. It will literally change your life.
Corruptissima re publica plurimae leges.
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IsnipeWithAknife
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Post by IsnipeWithAknife » Sun May 11, 2008 8:49 am

I am king of the Romans and above grammar - Sigismund, Holy Roman Emperor
WHS '05, UCSB '10
WOP OT Round 1 Picture Battle Champion!
WOP OT Mafia Game II: First ever mafia champions
http://officeofstrategicinfluence.com/spam/

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Nreuest
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Post by Nreuest » Sun May 11, 2008 8:54 am

"You know I'm sick of following my dreams man, I'm just gonna ask where they're going and hook up with them later." - Mitch Hedberg

"Anthony Kiedis is a JUNKIE!" - Mike Patton

"The answers to life's questions lie in what we love most" - Me

Anything Mitch Hedberg or Mike Patton ever said is pretty much worthy material.
"I haven't slept for ten days......because that would be too long." - Mitch Hedberg

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The Aceman
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Post by The Aceman » Sun May 11, 2008 10:09 am

Oh sorry, I forgot to pay attention to the "funny" part. Although my last one was a funny one anyways.
Go read "Ishmael" a novel by Daniel Quinn. It will literally change your life.
Corruptissima re publica plurimae leges.
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Hostrauser
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Post by Hostrauser » Sun May 11, 2008 9:13 pm

tSz42 wrote:www.bash.org
-Warning, may contain offensive langauge
May?

But some of the funniest stuff ever is on bash...
bash.org wrote: <Sonium> someone speak python here?
<lucky> HHHHHSSSSSHSSS
<lucky> SSSSS
<Sonium> the programming language

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midavid
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brief moments of lucidity

Post by midavid » Wed Jul 02, 2008 2:35 pm

Crazy Cat Lady: (calm) "Thanks to this psychoactive medication I enjoy brief moments of lucidity."

Marge: "Those are Reese's Pieces."

Crazy Cat Lady: "Gyaah hya ya!" (goes crazy, hurls cats)

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"You're like Christopher Columbus. You discovered something millions of people knew about before you." -Lisa Simpson

"Mom, I'm going to give you life the way I imagine you gave me life: by pressing ALT F5 repeatedly." -Bart Simpson

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