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Leadership Issues

Posted: Thu Aug 17, 2006 3:33 pm
by Ex Nihilo
my co-section leader is a leader in title only. he does not go over and beyond to get the job done, he's immature, and disrespectful to our drum major and myself. today he got mad at our DM for making us play a song one more time through and flipped him off and was muttering curse words. i told him that that was way unnecessarry and that he was supposed to be a role model. he flipped out on me and started complaining that he was never treated like a leader, so why should he act like one. we then argued further, i was attempting to conduct myself as an adault where he, on the other hand, was dropping the f-bomb every other word and screaming at me that he should just quit band and all this overly-dramatic stuff. and i told him that if he has that attitude, then maybe that would be best and he went and threw his stuff around the room, punched a chair and stormed out of the room.

firstly... was i out of line in what i said?
and secondly... how do i resolve this? he's my friend and a good player, but he drags down everyone he interacts with and where he goes; lack of dicsipline follows. i really don't want him to quit, but i've had way more than enough of his crap. what the heck do i do????

Posted: Thu Aug 17, 2006 3:48 pm
by Flying bird
the situation is made worse in that he's your friend(maybe a good friend) and you don't want to get him in trouble or whatnot, but you need to set a fine line between your friendship and business stuff. He would be acting immature if he stopped being your friend just because you "told on him" and you wouldn't be helping the problem if you let him get away with things like this and act like nothing is going on when your band director is around. Most of the time friendships end just because one of them decided to do what's right, but you must explain to him that you can't let business stuff affect your friendship and you can't let your friendship get in the way of doing the right thing.

Posted: Thu Aug 17, 2006 3:54 pm
by Ex Nihilo
oh... i forgot. this happened today. the DM and i talked to our director yesterday. our director knows what's going on. and if/when i inform him about the things that went on today there will be only one trumpet section leader. i just wish there was a better way to go about this.

Posted: Thu Aug 17, 2006 4:23 pm
by swuster
there's not much else you could have done. you made the right decision.

Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2006 10:56 am
by crickett
Speaking as a band director it sounds like you handled the situation as best you could. You can't control how he behaives or reacts to situations. You can only try to positivly influence the situation.

As hard as it may be you need to seek the support of your director and other student leaders. They are there to help. You are right about bad attitudes sinking everyone down. There is that saying that a group is only as good as its weekest link. A week link can just as easily be a bad attitude as well as someone who doesn't perform well. I would rather have a great attitude with someone who is trying hard and may not be the greatest player than someone who is an amazing player and poisons the atmosphere for everyone else. Freindship can make it harder but it sounds like you know what to do already.

Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2006 4:45 pm
by ZJH
crickett wrote:Speaking as a band director it sounds like you handled the situation as best you could. You can't control how he behaives or reacts to situations. You can only try to positivly influence the situation.

As hard as it may be you need to seek the support of your director and other student leaders. They are there to help. You are right about bad attitudes sinking everyone down. There is that saying that a group is only as good as its weekest link. A week link can just as easily be a bad attitude as well as someone who doesn't perform well. I would rather have a great attitude with someone who is trying hard and may not be the greatest player than someone who is an amazing player and poisons the atmosphere for everyone else. Freindship can make it harder but it sounds like you know what to do already.
Amen Mrs. Latham. Amen.

Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2006 4:55 pm
by DJ-PsiLon
Punch him in the face and take him down. That's the best way to restore order and show who's the Alpha. Nothing says sit down like a 64 ounce can of pain.




talk to the director....that's the point of this post

Posted: Tue Nov 21, 2006 4:21 pm
by ChIckInPIt
And I thought I was the only one. Well, yea my asst. is useless to the point where at times her friends in the section do more than her. Pretty sad. What makes me laugh though is that she's only an asst. and she believes she deserves a reputation for it. FYI, the reason there's the "asst." before the word leader is because ur just an asst., meaning that ur really jsut an apprentice who is suppose to ask about how things work (and NOT expect it to be given like a SPOILED CHILD). Yea, kids these days need to know that positions aren't titles. They're earned, respected, and known when u do you're part and don't make excuses as if that pardons u from making u look bad. If anything, excuses make u look even more incapable of being a future leader.

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2007 9:47 pm
by PeterPanIsWhoIam
i hate getting stuck in the middle of friends and section leader stuff

Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 4:55 pm
by musicallife
Just try and be nice to him and calmly explain that he is not being a good leader and role model. My suggestion is my way....make banana bread(my speciality). It will show that you are nice and it might make him feel bad about being a poor leader when you are so nice. Ask him to tone it down in front of people, or he should have to do push-ups until he realizes it is bad form.